We’ve all met them - those children who just can’t wait to share an idea, an answer, or a thought that’s come to them in a burst of excitement. Their hand might shoot up mid-sentence, or they might call out before you’ve even finished your question. It can feel disruptive in the moment, but underneath that impulsivity lies something powerful: engagement, enthusiasm, and a desire to connect. As adults, our challenge isn’t to quench that spark - it’s to shape it!
“Impulsivity is the energy of a thought or feeling that leaps into action before it’s had time to be shaped.”
In the classroom, impulsivity often gets labelled as a “behaviour problem.” However, if we view impulsivity through a Motional lens, it is often a natural byproduct of the SEEKING and PLAY systems at work.
- The SEEKING system drives curiosity, exploration, and the joy of discovery. When a child blurts out an answer, it may come from this deep, intrinsic drive to engage and make sense of the world.
- The PLAY system fuels social learning, creativity, and connection. It thrives on interaction and shared experiences — which can sometimes spill over as impulsive excitement.
- Underpinning both, the CARE system shapes our capacity for empathy and belonging - both for the child who wants to be heard and for the adult trying to hold space for everyone.
Seen this way, impulsivity isn’t simply a lack of control - it’s the visible energy of emotional systems doing exactly what they’re meant to do. Our role is to help children regulate, not repress, these healthy emotional drives.
The Classroom Challenge
Sometimes we just need one voice at a time. But managing that moment doesn’t mean dampening enthusiasm - it means helping children understand timing, self-awareness, and empathy.
Every teacher already has small strategies for these moments, often intuitive and shaped by experience. This month, take time with your colleagues to discuss and share them.
- What do you do to help an impulsive child pause before speaking?
- How do you explain why it matters to wait?
- What practices encourage children to stay enthusiastic, without derailing others’ learning?
Choose one new strategy to try this half term - something that builds understanding and self-control while keeping that love of learning alive.
Ideas to Try
1. Catching the Thought
When a child blurts out an answer or repeats your name mid-lesson, use a simple gesture - mime grabbing their idea and “holding” it until the right moment. A quick “I’ve got your thought - I’ll come to it next” acknowledges their contribution and sets a gentle boundary. Make eye contact with the child - this shows you’re acknowledging them and that you need them to pause. For some children, it helps to talk about this cue beforehand so they understand what it means.
You’re supporting their CARE system by showing that their ideas matter, even when they must wait.
2. The Talking Stick
It doesn’t have to be reserved for circle time. If you know a child is bursting to share, hand them a “talking stick” or another visible cue. It reassures them that their turn is coming, reducing anxiety and helping them practise patience.
This calms the SEEKING system by giving the brain a predictable signal of safety and order.
3. Positive Reinforcement
Make a habit of noticing and naming the behaviour you want to see. A simple, consistent “Thank you for putting your hand up” - every time, not just when you’re correcting someone - builds an atmosphere of calm consistency and mutual respect. Say it every time, even in the quietest classroom and mean it!
Reinforces CARE and PLAY, connecting positive emotion to self-regulation.
4. Praise and Reflective Feedback
When it works, celebrate it. Acknowledge the effort and link it to its impact:
“Thanks for pausing when you really wanted to share. I love your enthusiasm, and because you waited, more people got to hear your idea too.”
These micro-moments tell children: You’re seen, your ideas matter, and there’s a time for every voice.
Here, we’re integrating the SEEKING system (curiosity) with the CARE system (connection).
Why It Matters
Children who struggle with impulsivity often find other areas of school life difficult too. But their challenge is rooted in connection, not defiance - they care, they want to belong, and they want to contribute.
If we react by shutting that down, we risk sending the message that even when they try to do the right thing, they’re doing it wrong. Over time, that can chip away at confidence and engagement.
But when we meet impulsivity with empathy and structure, we help children feel the difference between a disruptive impact and a positive one. That experience - of using their energy in a way that lifts themselves and others - can ripple out into every part of their learning.And when we help children notice the feeling that drives the impulse - excitement, curiosity, pride - we’re helping them develop self-awareness, a cornerstone of emotional regulation.
Through the lens of Panksepp’s systems, this process strengthens the integration between SEEKING (motivation), PLAY (joy), and CARE (connection) - the emotional triad that underpins not just learning, but lifelong wellbeing.
The Takeaway
Impulsivity isn’t the enemy of learning - it’s often a sign of it.
Our role is to guide that energy, not squash it.
When children learn that their ideas are welcome - and that there’s a right moment to share them - we’re not just teaching classroom behaviour. We’re teaching emotional regulation, relational awareness, and self-confidence.